Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Street Etiquette: Boston vs. Amman
Living as a young, single, girl in the Middle East I’ve learned never to make eye contact with anyone on the street, especially since most people on the street are men. This might sound rude to some from the US, but looking someone in the eye usually sends the wrong signal, inviting some kind of catcall or inappropriate comment. In Beirut and Amman, each of which I’ve lived in for a year, the comments and harassment are kept to a minimum and I’m rarely bothered as long as I walk confidently and don’t look at anyone. In Cairo, where I also lived for a year, the streets are more crowded and men are more aggressive, so more disguise was required. I didn’t wear a hijab, or head-scarf, but I usually walked around wearing sunglasses and listening to my iPod. I don’t want to seem like an unadventurous traveler and it’s kind of depressing to close myself off like this, of course, as people-watching and listening to everything going on in the street can be an interesting part of traveling. However, iPods, sunglasses, scarves, and loose clothing have saved me a lot of trouble over my three years living in the Middle East.
The way I am writing about this, I probably make it seem as if every man on the street in Cairo, Beirut, or Amman is just waiting to harass me. This is not the case at all, and I don’t want to make negative generalizations. However, young, foreign girls walking around unaccompanied by men do attract negative attention often enough that, for me, it’s worth being safe rather than sorry, so I tend to be as closed off as possible when in public.
You might think that, being from Boston which is not known as the kindest city in the US, ignoring or even being rude to strangers on the street would come naturally to me. However, on a recent visit to the US from Jordan, I was taken aback by strangers smiling at me on the street as I walked around Harvard Square. Even cold Boston seemed suspiciously friendly after I’d gotten so used to ignoring everyone around me in Jordan. Did they want something? Did I look confused or pitiful? These were the first thoughts that came into my head. But then I remembered that in the US it’s not too strange to occasionally make eye contact with a stranger on the street, strike up a conversation with a waiter or cashier, and perhaps even smile at someone you don’t know.
When I arrived back in Jordan, my readjustment to American norms stayed with me at the airport. My guard was down, I wanted to be friendly, and I made the mistake of smiling at a security guard. He smiled suggestively back my way, clearly getting the wrong message, a chill ran down m back, and I put my cold façade back up, walking ahead stoically and not making eye contact with anyone else until I got to my taxi outside the airport.
Posted by Phoebe Sloane at 08:03 AM | Comments (0)
