August 14, 2005
Goodbye
I left the orphanage this morning. Last night we had a farewell ice cream party. Each kid gave me a present to take back home - lots of stuffed animals. There were so many I didn't have any place to put them and in the end I had to ask them to pick out 1 or 2 to give to me and take the rest back. I didn't know how to express the emotions I felt when I left. This place has become like a home to me. The kids asked me when I leave who will come to take my place and I said I didn't know. It seems so unfair to come into their lives and then leave so abruptly but I guess they are used to having transitory relationships. They made me pinky swear to come back again next year. I'll try my best to make that happen.
The Saturday night before I left I witnessed one of the kids getting beaten with a stick in front of the other children. I had to walk away so they would not see me crying. But I wasn't fast enough and some of the kids noticed the tears in my eyes. The next day they came up to me and said they felt sorry for me because I was sad. Vu, the kid who got the beating came up to me and starting making faces at me until I had to laugh. Once again I was humbled by the resilience of these orphans. Any normal child would be sulking and rightfully so- I get angry whenever someone so much as says a negative word towards me and here was this kid who had just gotten punished for no good reason and he was trying to make me happy. They were really surprised to see someone show that kind of emotion. They were used to these situations, all the nuns were used to it as well. In fact its so normal for them that they begin to rationalize it- they tell me its ok, that they are used to corporal punishment and it wasn't a big deal to them. You forget how easy it is for things to become mundane. These beatings just become part of their routine and they learn to avoid it as often as possible and pretend it doesn't happen. Such a wonderful place with such a dark secret - Things get covered up, the kids go to school and tell their friends that they fell off their bike or they tripped over a chair. Visitors come and they put on their best clothes and smiling faces and everyone thinks that these kids are so blessed to have such a happy situation and no one really knows the real story.
Even after three months I am still astonished by their ability to just keep going. These kids are truly the most beautiful people I have ever met.
Posted by Thuy_Nguyen at August 14, 2005 11:14 PM
